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Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends,What Makes Us Click

We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow blogger.com more  · If you have a good life hack, leave us a voicemail at , or email us at [email protected] Your tip could appear in an upcoming episode. If you love Life Kit and want AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Whether its instant messaging, video chat, dating games, offline events, or online Types: All Ages Dating Sites, Senior Dating Sites, Gay Dating Sites AdCompare Online Dating Sites, Join the Right Site For You & Meet Singles Online! Compare Dating Sites with Genuine Profiles. Meet Local Singles & Find Your blogger.com has been visited by 10K+ users in the past monthService catalog: Video Chat, See Profiles, Find Singles Nearby, Match with Locals AdJoin Millions of Americans Finding Love Online With Our Top 5 Sites to Meet Women! See Why Singles Love These Dating Sites. Find Something Serious Or Casual. Start Today! ... read more

Filters let users set preferences for age or location, and some services allow daters to search for matches by interests, religion or occupation. Zoosk has found that people who use filters receive fewer replies to their messages. Murray says that people who turn their filters off tend to have longer conversations with their matches. Wang cautions that this kind of approach to dating lets users act like they are shopping, which isn't necessarily a good thing.

He calls the practice "relationshopping," and he warns that it not only objectifies others, it de-emphasizes the importance of building a relationship. People sometimes treat dating as if they are looking for the perfect dress or handbag, Wang says.

Technology may offer opportunities to efficiently curate a dating pool, but what about the magic of connecting with someone? or maybe you realize you're both keeping spreadsheets," she says with a laugh.

In fact, Wang says, some sites describe themselves as more of an introduction service than a dating site. The dating happens in person," Wang says. Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player. NPR Shop. Tiny Desk NowPlaying All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions. About NPR Diversity Organization Support Careers Connect Press Ethics. What Makes Us Click: How Online Dating Shapes Our Relationships As Americans try new ways to connect, the norms of dating are evolving.

So how has online dating changed the connections we make? What Makes Us Click: How Online Dating Shapes Our Relationships. Facebook Twitter Flipboard Email. It's a very pervasive opinion among at least the people on OkCupid. This is just measuring people's opinions, not what they actually go out and do. What you see when you actually look at what people do, you see the realism set in. So these year-old guys they people they actually have the courage to actually go out and message are a lot older: it's 30, year-old women.

I definitely think it's good. All of this data — everything in the book and generally anything you read online about people's behavior on sites — is aggregated and anonymous. Nobody's looking at your personal account. But when you put all this stuff together, you're able to look at people in a way that people have never been able to look at people before. You have millions and millions of people living their lives through an interface that records what they're doing as they live.

It's the beginning of, I think, a revolution in how social science and behavioral science are done. Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player. NPR Shop. Tiny Desk NowPlaying All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions. About NPR Diversity Organization Support Careers Connect Press Ethics. Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder knows a lot about his site's users.

He explains how he uses mass data to explore behavior in his new book Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One's Looking.

Author Interviews. Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends. Once matches start coming in, Hoffman says do your best not to fall into "robot mode.

You control your dating destiny. Not everyone on dating apps is looking for a forever love, and not everyone who swipes right is going to be the right fit for you — but understanding that doesn't make getting ghosted or mismatched any easier. Dating apps, like social media-writ-large, can act as a "playground for your anxieties," says Brammer. The reality of the search can be isolating and lonely at times, says Brammer, and "loneliness can often feel like a personal failure.

and it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you," Brammer continues. Even as someone who people look to for love advice, Brammer says this is something he struggles with too. But recognizing and remembering that you're not alone in the struggle can be a source of comfort. In the meantime, he suggests trying to approach dating apps with lightness and leaving yourself room for grace. The podcast portion of this story was produced by David West Jr. and Meghan Keane, with engineering support from James Willetts.

We'd love to hear from you. If you have a good life hack, leave us a voicemail at , or email us at LifeKit npr. Your tip could appear in an upcoming episode. If you love Life Kit and want more, subscribe to our newsletter. Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player.

NPR Shop. Tiny Desk NowPlaying All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions. About NPR Diversity Organization Support Careers Connect Press Ethics. Dating Apps Can Be Stressful. Here's How To Navigate Them With Ease : Life Kit There are plenty of dating apps out there these days, but just because they exist, doesn't mean trying to find a connection with someone online is easy or without stress. In this episode, author and advice columnist John Paul Brammer and certified dating coach Damona Hoffman offer tips to make the experience less anxiety-inducing, whether you're looking for a long-term relationship or just looking to date casually.

NPR One Apple Podcasts Spotify Google Podcasts RSS link. Life Kit. Looking for love at first swipe? Here's how to make dating apps work for you.

Facebook Twitter Flipboard Email. August 12, AM ET. Here's how to make dating apps work for you Listen · Enlarge this image. Hanna Barczyk for NPR. Explore Life Kit This story comes from Life Kit , NPR's family of podcasts to help make life better — covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends. Life Kit The Key To Flirting?

Your purchase helps support NPR programming. OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder is a man obsessed with data. His dating site is known for gathering enormous amounts of information about users — the more questions you answer about yourself, the better the site's algorithm can, in theory, find you a match. Like other social sites, OkCupid keeps track of user data in order to make the site more effective.

But, Rudder says, that information could also change the way we see ourselves. It's true that data isn't everything, he says. But as more and more activities have some sort of online component, there's an increasing amount of data accessible about our lives. Rudder collects some of that information in his book Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One's Looking. It's full of charts and graphs that use aggregated online data to help explain everything from political beliefs to speech patterns — and, as Rudder tells Rath, even race relations.

I looked at a large sample of tweets and looked at the average word length in tweets. And of course, the first blush would be that with all the abbreviations like "u" for you and thanks, you know, "thx," that there would be shorter words on twitter. And I found that just wasn't the case — [the words] were longer not only than Shakespearean English but also [than] in longform journalism.

It's much shorter, obviously, because there's only characters, but it is just as robust in a certain sense. Christian Rudder is the co-founder and president of Okcupid. All the data on race I have is from dating sites, but on these sites black users, especially, there's a bias against them. Every kind of way you can measure their success on a site — how people rate them, how often they reply to their messages, how many messages they get — that's all reduced.

And so obviously race is always a topic in his country, but especially now with Ferguson , it's such an emotional issue. And it's rare that you can find data that speaks of how one person of whatever race treats another person of another race in an aggregate and kind of measurable way.

And so online data is very good at that, and specifically dating data because it's all just strangers mixing with each other. The whole premise of a dating site is to judge people, and so you really are able to tease that out free of any offline social constraints — your friends don't know what you do on a dating site like they do know what you do on Facebook.

Of course, when you ask anybody directly, even if it's just a computer asking the question, people are like, "Oh yeah, interracial marriage is great. I don't care what race my match is," you know all of that stuff you'd expect a kind of decent, forward-thinking person to say. But when you actually are observing passively what they're doing when they don't think you're keeping track, you see a totally different story.

Age is a huge variable in online dating. Women generally like a guy to be the same age as them up until the guys hit about But when you flip it around, when you look at how men perceive women, it's pretty much a just straight ticket vote for 20, which is the lowest age I looked at in my data set.

So even year-old guys rate year-old women the best. It's a very pervasive opinion among at least the people on OkCupid. This is just measuring people's opinions, not what they actually go out and do. What you see when you actually look at what people do, you see the realism set in. So these year-old guys they people they actually have the courage to actually go out and message are a lot older: it's 30, year-old women.

I definitely think it's good. All of this data — everything in the book and generally anything you read online about people's behavior on sites — is aggregated and anonymous. Nobody's looking at your personal account. But when you put all this stuff together, you're able to look at people in a way that people have never been able to look at people before.

You have millions and millions of people living their lives through an interface that records what they're doing as they live. It's the beginning of, I think, a revolution in how social science and behavioral science are done. Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player. NPR Shop. Tiny Desk NowPlaying All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions. About NPR Diversity Organization Support Careers Connect Press Ethics.

Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder knows a lot about his site's users. He explains how he uses mass data to explore behavior in his new book Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One's Looking. Author Interviews. Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends. Facebook Twitter Flipboard Email.

September 6, PM ET. Heard on All Things Considered. NPR Staff. Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends Listen · Hardcover, pages purchase close overlay Buy Featured Book Title Dataclysm Subtitle Who We Are When We Think No One's Looking Author Christian Rudder Your purchase helps support NPR programming.

Amazon iBooks Independent Booksellers. Enlarge this image. More On Big Data What Big Data Means For Big Cities. Shots - Health News Big Data Peeps At Your Medical Records To Find Drug Problems. The 'Big Data' Revolution: How Number Crunchers Can Predict Our Lives. Commentary Forget YOLO: Why 'Big Data' Should Be The Word Of The Year.

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 · If you have a good life hack, leave us a voicemail at , or email us at [email protected] Your tip could appear in an upcoming episode. If you love Life Kit and want AdJoin Millions of Americans Finding Love Online With Our Top 5 Sites to Meet Women! See Why Singles Love These Dating Sites. Find Something Serious Or Casual. Start Today! AdCompare Online Dating Sites, Join the Right Site For You & Meet Singles Online! Compare Dating Sites with Genuine Profiles. Meet Local Singles & Find Your blogger.com has been visited by 10K+ users in the past monthService catalog: Video Chat, See Profiles, Find Singles Nearby, Match with Locals We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow blogger.com more AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Whether its instant messaging, video chat, dating games, offline events, or online Types: All Ages Dating Sites, Senior Dating Sites, Gay Dating Sites ... read more

com shows that singles are more likely now to shun those who don't share their political preference. OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder is a man obsessed with data. It's much shorter, obviously, because there's only characters, but it is just as robust in a certain sense. Your profile is the most important piece of your online dating experience, says Hoffman, but you shouldn't let that intimidate you. For Anna Fiehler, a year-old newlywed, online dating helped her find love after her divorce — but it was not without its challenges. She says speed and momentum are your friend, and apps can often reward more regular interaction with more options. A new service offers the appearance of having a significant other who texts you and even leaves voice mails.

Megan Murray is a senior content strategist for Zoosk, an online dating site and mobile npr online dating. It's Not About You. As he explains in a new book, he discovered that his academic expertise was entirely relevant to his foray into online dating, npr online dating. I don't care what race my match is," you know all of that stuff you'd expect a kind of decent, forward-thinking person to say. But that efficiency can have drawbacks for people trying to find true love.

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